


Sentimental Obsessions And How To Maintain Illusions

by soobinsoup



Category: NCT (Band), We Go Up - NCT Dream (Music Video)
Genre: Bottom Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Top Mark Lee (NCT)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:35:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26605342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soobinsoup/pseuds/soobinsoup
Summary: Lee Donghyuck has to learn to overcome his loving feelings when Mark Lee leaves him.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. I wasted my birthday wishes on you

**Author's Note:**

> hi! hope you enjoy my work ;))
> 
> it's my first time posting on ao3 so please understand any mistakes :D

Prologue

I used to be paranoid people really do leave once they realize they can’t fix me. And Mark Lee proved that I was fucking right.

In this particular day, Mark invited me to his house after school. So, me being the deluded person that I am, I went there.

I was standing up, looking at his Funko collection when he started talking.

—You are such a soft and messy thing. Nobody knows how to take care of you. —Mark said, sitting on the edge of his bed, his hands on his neck. —So do I.

My body was shaking. I could feel electricity running through my veins, so I closed my hands tightly. I wanted to scream, but I didn’t.

—Please don’t say you’re leaving, Mark. —Tears started running down my face. He took a deep breath, but said nothing. —Fuck you. —I said then. And without even looking at his eyes, I left his house.

And that was it. You couldn’t handle all my messy stuff, so you left. And today, 1 years later, I forgot things about you. Is that good or bad, Mark? Were your walls red or green? How did you smell? I wasted my birthday wishes on you. I wasted them wishing you were ok, wishing you’d come back. But you never did. Don’t you know how much I adore you?

I want to rip my hair out.


	2. The smell of ocean water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghyuck goes to the beach with his friends: Chenle, Jeno, Renjun and Jaemin, but the things don't go so well.

It’s a particular day, where me and my friends Jaemin, Renjun, Jeno and Chenle have a free day from college so we can go to the beach. It’s their favorite place in the world and I feel so safe here, with them.

We are always in an empty space on the beach, where there are several stones. We sat on a large towel and put two umbrellas around us. Food, water, ice cream and -a lot- of beers are here too.

I take a deep breath while sitting with Jaemin on the orange towel. Chenle, Jeno and Renjun are playing soccer close to the sea. The smell of ocean water, so familiar. I love this feeling: being with my friends, just chillin and being ourselves. It’s my favorite day in the week since Mark left. It used to be a Friday, when me and him went to his roof and looked at the stars. And it never got boring! Just me, him and the sky.

I miss this.

—Do you want some sunscreen, Hyuck? —Jaemin says, and I look at him. He is so charming and stylish! I always felt like this about him. He is wearing a black cap and black sunglasses, while passing the sunscreen on his left arm. I open a truly smile.

—Sure. —Then he come closer to me and helps me with my back.

All we can hear is the boys screams in the distance for about twenty seconds, When he cuts the silence:

—Are you okay?

—Yes. —I say.

—Are you lying?

—No!! —I smile, even if he can’t see my face.

—Are you sure? —Jaemin always take care of me and the boys. —Face. —I turned to him side so he could pass sunscreen in my face. 

—Hmm, yeah. I mean… you know, right?

—Hm.

—I’m feeling pretty good lately. Ok, there’s a lot of down moments but, like, at all, i’m doing fine. —He was done with the sunscreen.

—That’s good, Hyuck. I’m glad to see you happy. —He smiled and opened a beer.

—Cheers to Donghyuck happiness! —he said, and then we make a toast.

I open a beautiful smile.

—Cheers.

———————

The sun already has set and we are on the car going back to the campus. I’m on the back of the pickup with Chenle and Jaemin. Jeno is riding because he is the only one who didn’t drink all day, and Renjun is on his side.

Chenle is laughing because of Jaemin burps, and I’m trying to not fall asleep while smiling at them. They are funny, but I’m so tired.

Then Renjun turns on the car radio, and guess what? It’s playing Mark’s favorite song.

Oh god, are you testing me?

—Waiting for you is like waiting for death, except —He screamed, then everyone but me and Chenle starts to singing out of tune.

I guess I’m going to cry.

—I know at least she'll come, I've told you before that I'll wait a bit more for you —Jeno sings. —I'll stay up far past 2:00!

The next part is coming, but Jaemin sees my face, my pout of who is about to cry, and starts screaming.

—Guys! Stop! —He said, and then Jeno turns the radio off. —Sorry, Hyuckie. Sorry.

I can’t hold it, so tears start to run down my cheeks.

—Hyuck, don’t cry. Don’t cry. —Jaemin says, holding my hands.

The other ones seem to don’t understand why I’m crying, but then Jaemin makes an ugly face to Renjun, and he seems to understand, making a “O” with him mouth.

—I’m sorry, I didn’t knew… —He says to me.

—It’s okay. —I try to smile. —I’m just being dumb again. Sorry.

—No, you’re not, Donghyuck! You can cry if you want to. —Chenle said. And I cry when everyone makes silence.

———————

We finally arrive at the campus.

—Are you sure you want to go home alone? —Jeno says to me, when we are getting out of the car, on the parking of the campus.

—Yes. —I say. 

—Ok. —He close the door and smile. —Hope you feel better soon.

—I’ll. —I smile back, even if I know I’m not going to be ok so soon. He caresses my hair, and I turn myself to the others.

—Bye, guys! —I wave at them. Everyone smiles and wave at me too, and Jaemin says “I love you” just moving his lips.

———————

When I walk by the front door of my dormitory my heart beats so fast. I’m feeling like I just dived into a ocean of energy and all the electrons in my body light up like candles. But I don’t know if it’s about Mark anymore.

Maybe I’m just tired, so I just lay on my couch and sleep for all night.


End file.
